Wednesday, August 1, 2012


In a nutshell, pretentious bullshit. That's all it is.

There is an underlying story about, essentially, people fucking up. A lot. While that's exactly what people do in real life, the story in Drive is not nearly as engaging as the writer thought. I just can't understand the motivation for half of all dumbass stunts the characters (mainly the main one) pull off in the movie. I actually felt more empathy for the fucking Transformers.

Don't get me wrong, everyone's acting is fine, but that just doesn't cut it. All along, the main character just watches shit get increasingly botched up without any expression whatsoever, and mostly without uttering a word. Was I supposed to root for that reticent asshole somehow? Everything he does is irresponsible, uncertain, stupid, or any combination thereof. And yet, there he is, the focus of the entire movie, as if setting a bright and shining example or something.

On top of that, the whole movie drags along tediously for the most part, with scenes of prolonged silence for dramatic effect. Only the effect is yawning instead.

The whole thing is also riddled with lame and superfluous suggestions that I can't be bothered to care for. Yes, damnit, we know the road to hell is paved with good intentions. And what's the point of that scorpio jacket? There's way too much screen time wasted on it. Some reference that should have made the whole movie sensible, or what? Even if there is something clever behind it, I don't get it. And even if I did, I somehow doubt it would make the movie any more enjoyable.

The editing relies heavily on sound and music. That's by no means a redeeming quality, however. While the sound is very good, there are too many painfully protracted scenes without any, and the music is bland and uninteresting. "We made a movie, and we didn't use an orchestra! Look how avant-garde we are!" Uhm, no.

Speaking of avant-garde, what's with the pink shit and Barbie typeface? A drama about a confused getaway driver fucking up at life beyond his imagination with pink credits? Is that supposed to run contrast to the shit-hit-the-fan plot for emphasis, or just there to make my eyes bleed?

Overall, after I watched the movie, I had the feeling that it was made by a bunch of art students who were out to show the world what the art of motion pictures is, and who made the conscious decision that they would make a masterpiece hailed by the critics as the next big thing. Granted, critics are idiots and probably drool all over it, but all I saw was pretentious bullshit.

But hey, don't take my word for it. There's art for you, the fuck do I know.

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